Pure Love ProducesPure Nonsense.

BYE.

2010-02-26T13:16:00.001+08:00

Bye blogger. Hello my Tumblr. Bitch, I hope you see this and click it. (:

#56 Love?

2010-02-17T03:16:00.001+08:00

Had a wonderful night yesterday, and a fruitful day today. Steamboat was cancelled, end up going over to Cash studio. Day spent with my 3 lovey dovey was awesome.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It actually opens your chest and your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.. And you give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like hug you or smile at you, kiss you even, maybe, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you, eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts, really. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. Yes I do.

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will. Fate? _!_

In fact, you're always on my mind. But I just don't know what to say anymore..

#55 Oh it's CNY..

2010-02-16T00:42:00.002+08:00

It doesn't felt like it was Chinese New Year already, this year. There's so much things packed up on just one day. Valentine's, visiting of many houses, and there, Jess's 18th birthday. Clubbing was fun the other day. I was said to be a potential clubber when I turn 18. We shall see... Oh well anyway, surprising Jess was successful, only something crop up. And I was drunk that night, had to be a merlion every few minutes. At least, my mind was blank. Thanks to Shan and Jess for taking care of me. Homed at around 6.30am and slept for 2 hours or so, and off to visit the usual houses with 2 other families. 2nd day, was oh so boring, slept untill it was time to leave for my mum's side. And home now, but going out later. I hope tomorrow will be a better day at cl's place, and everyone to have a good talk, maybe? We shall see...

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person will still think the sun shines outta your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new life.

#54 The question is..

2010-02-12T00:16:00.002+08:00

I believe one of the toughest situation you can ever faced with is deciding whether you should just move on, or hold on a little tighter. Move on, and maybe you'll lose a chance at the best thing that could ever happened. Or hold on and have the possibility of your heart being broken.

I want to always be there when you want me there. I will never say no.

So i guess you were one of those people who were supposedly walk into my life, teach me a lesson and then walk away. I get it, I totally get the picture.

Anyway on a happier note, I'm going out with my classmates tomorrow and off to club with my bunch of lesbozxs. I hope I could get in and not be a burden. :P Hahaha. Oh and yay tomorrow's the last day of school!

#53 Façade

2010-02-07T22:58:00.002+08:00

Had fun the whole day today tanning/playing/crapping/cam-whoring/truth-dare-ing, even though some truth that we might hear ain't what we wanted to hear dearly, but it's true from the heart. At least.. Photos are in Facebook, go look for yourself.

You know there's so many mask we put on everyday that we realize we no longer know which one is real. Don't you think so? Oh well but, I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy. I'm going to laugh so you don't see me cry. I'm going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me- I'm going to smile for you.

I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own. I like you, I really do. Take care, whenever you need this arm, it's yours. (:

Ahhhhhhh. Next whole week is UT week :(

The worse thing about getting your heart broken is going to sleep and knowing you're going to wake up and nothing has changed.

#52 You, made it all warm.

2010-02-06T17:07:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA. Behind the scenes.

It's funny how when someone is so afraid to do things or say things to that particular person. But still that person have made your heart smile like nobody's and you don't want to show it out. Had a slow and hot walk yesterday from rp to causeway point. It was the best walk ever. (: Because I'm not thinking about anything.

Okay, I want to study liaozxs

If I were to text you it would mean that I'm missing you but when I don't, then it means I'm waiting for you to miss me. So won't you miss me? HEHEHE

#51 Please?

2010-02-05T11:39:00.000+08:00

Please be happy okay? I hope, I pray, I want.

This is really funny. Hahahaha.

#50 (:

2010-02-04T10:53:00.001+08:00

Even though I met you just for a short while yesterday.

That moment was awesome. (:

Haha, it's good to have classmates motivating you to study every time. But I just wouldn't listen. Argh. Thanks for the nutri-soy when I reach class, Jason! Okay la, I need to really study already. Wha lao damn sian la training will only resume after Chinese New Year. :(

Till then, Bye.

#49 It says it all

2010-02-03T10:17:00.000+08:00

It's something about you that made me feel this way. But it's okay, as long as you're happy, it's all that matters (: Eh, I reserve my virgin trip to PLAY for you hor, yokeling! I steady one. Hehe.

One more thing to be sian about is that the whole of next week is ut, ut, ut and more uts. :( Argh.

#48 How can I get it across you?

2010-02-02T15:23:00.004+08:00

Let me hold you for the last time,

it's the last chance to feel again, 'Why not?'

It's funny how some times I want you to know what I'm feeling,

but I just don't want to say at all. Haha. Are you up for it?

PW-PROTECTED: For who you are.

#47 Red alert!

2010-02-01T10:39:00.003+08:00

Wha lao. It has been dragged until yesterday since 12th, finally it's here. Oh well I think God knows I'm going Chiang Rai. Hehehe. Hopefully my hole doesn't bleed during 15th till 28th march. Or else, it'll be super sian.

Anyway I've got lots to think about, be it you, you, you, you, you, you and probably you. Everything is in my mind, I don't know where/when should I start pouring things out to people. Hmmm. Or is it better that some things are left unsaid? Sometimes right, I really regret knowing things out of curiosity that hurts deep inside, but doesn't show. Hmmm, and to say something which brought awkwardness and misery to oneself.

So the question still lies,
is it better if some things are left unsaid?

My cramps is really bad, arghhhh. I really hope someone picks me up and bring me to a whole new level in life. Oh, who wants to go with me to Universal studios? Who's up for it? Hehehe.

Can't wait for training later. I think it's the only period that I could get my head in the game and not else where. Shucks, I must really really really make myself so tired and drop dead on bed when I reach home. Please..

#46 So many questions, yet unanswered.

2010-01-30T20:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I just wished for a message from you,

But I wouldn't know what to reply. Tell me what to do, what to say.

Wha lao I think I've got a rear-view mirror!

That's because I'm always looking back-

& of course, we're still friends, no matter what.

Yokeling's right, forward forward forward....................

#45 Thanks dear.

2010-01-28T15:48:00.001+08:00

I think i'm feeling better without you beside me

#44 Utterly disappointed.

2010-01-27T01:51:00.003+08:00

I'm disappointed. You, of all people, would be the one to break my heart. What ever happened to all those times? I can remember laughing together, just us two. And yet after all that, you still don't know me at all. Now I wonder, what do you think of me? What am I in your eyes? I guess you don't care, or maybe you just care too much.

PW PROTECTED: I thought you were different.

Thursday's coming, pretty excited for training. It's been long... Sian-ness. Tomorrow's wednesday, I feel like skipping school, again. Haha. Ahh, being the leader comes with great responsibilities! Shit I just slept through without completing my work! Oh well... Anyway I can't wait for my Chiang Rai trip! Anyone has a big bag pack that could lend me? Hehehe.

Just when my hopes were at the highest, they fall quicker than before. I guess I'm not good enough for you.

#43 Overdued

2010-01-22T11:01:00.000+08:00

Tan Mei Lin, there, the photos! Uploaded. Sorry for the procrastination! That day was awesome. Met fiona after that, catch up quite a bit. Whoohoo. Oh not forgeting I met Jazreel 2 days back with Warren. Didn't know we could talk for so long! (Y) Okay, bye.

I should start studying soon................................

#42 Webcaming!

2010-01-18T19:11:00.000+08:00

Hello earthlings. Just got back from camp at P. Ubin yesterday evening, and slept till 8pm. Woke up and webcamed with mc. Haha, she said she's shy, I said, 'Shy ge pi, kns'. Bathed, and off to find sweets at Macs. Homed at around 11 plus, and head straight to bed. Haha, and the funny thing is, I'm almost late for school! Oh well, I'm too tired. Lucky thing is training is cancelled today!

Can't wait for Bintan trip with cl, and Chiang Rai trip for 2 weeks! I want to get away with everything, everything...

Off to meet sweets, soon! :D

I promise I'll upload Ahbee's 21st photos soon!

#41 Could you see?

2010-01-14T01:30:00.002+08:00

It's sad, how I'm locked up, in my little world. Lying to myself, saying that every thing's going to be alright, that every single thing would be fine. Wearing the mask, acting the part, and saying it's all part of the show. Living in boxes, seeing in darkness, and speaking in lies. Sigh. I had enough of all these. I was a happy child. Was. Why should it change?

It's just that whenever i come home there's a feeling inside me that made me not want to come home sometimes, do you know? Isn't being home all about feeling safe, feeling loved, the warmth that it gives you? If it is, mine isn't called home. I hate this part right here, can't you see it? You gave me the freedom, the money, everything that I wanted. But it isn't what I needed most, don't you get it? I would rather it exchanged for a whole concerned family.

Every single time I stepped into this house, be it after school, or after hanging out with my friends, the same old feeling takes over, again. It's so quiet in here sometimes, as if I rule the whole house by myself. If not, it would be insanely crazy, dramatic, screaming here and there, exchanging crude words right in front of my face. Haven't you had enough? It's been a few years, aren't you tired? I am. Why don't you spare a thought for me?

I would definitely love to talk to you. But how can I when most of the time it's only me, the dog and the house? I guess it's one of the reason why you gave me a dog on my 9th birthday. A companion for the future at home indeed. Sigh. We used to have heart-to-heart talks every night. Where has it gone to? My brother, another human being whom I'm worried about, for so many things. I think I want to bankai soon already.

I wanted this post to be protected initially, but figured out my intention was to get my point across to my parents/brother. And so, now this is my homepage for my computer at home. Hi mum, dad, kor, I hope you jolly well read this.

Don't know what to describe my feelings now, just felt like blogging. I seriously can't wait for my ubin trip to come, at least i'll get away for 3 days. And and and my Chiang Rai trip, then i could get away for 2 weeks of nonsense! I hope time would pass a little more quickly than usual.

#40 _|_

2010-01-12T00:28:00.001+08:00

This sucks, I'm just going to have a goodnight's rest now

and all would be fine tomorrow morning, a brand new day. I hope...

#39 Worn-out

2010-01-11T10:19:00.000+08:00

I'm going to be drained soon. Lack of sleep, yet long day... :( There's so much happening today, and my mind have been blank since morning. Argh, must be the monday blues, again. Sigh, a talk on module selection, SL meeting, planning for events, cognitive all in a day. Adding to the frustration I had in the morning previously when i woke up, I'm the team leader for exchange programme! Sigh, so many responsibilities to bare, the consequences to think about. Argh.

Oh, but wait after everything I'm going to meet Jess & sweetie. It cheers me up a little bit more. (: Hope she will be happy with her results today. I wish all O level students who are taking their results today, all the best.

It's always because of a coincidence/sudden meet up that brought you two in becoming bff over again. How true are you to your friends, tell me leh. No really, how true are you? I want to know. Hypocritical.

#38 Vampires

2010-01-09T01:57:00.000+08:00

I've been going gaga for vampires recently. Sigh, must be the very first twilight when i read the book before the movie set in that got me hooked up! I'm done with all 4 books, and who knows when the 5th will come out. But argh, I heard it wouldn't be so soon, or might not even be published (the draft leaked out or something, I don't know). But anyway finished with Trueblood, just waiting for season 3 to be release.

For now, Vampire dairies! The guy on the left of this picture *drools* Oh well the main actress is quite pretty also, I must say. Okay, stop, I need to get up early tomorrow. :(

Bye.

Some times it's great to meet up with friends after so long, but I didn't expect it to be at a wake. Sigh.

#37 Truely, madly, deeply

2010-01-08T15:26:00.001+08:00

"Life is not about the people who act true to your face. It is about the people who remain true behind your back." - Came across this phrase in my mother's facebook. Yes, my mum has a facebook. It's good to have a hippy mummy. (: Anyway, I couldn't agree more to this phrase.

Ahhh, good luck for ivp!

#36 Life still goes on...

2010-01-05T09:39:00.000+08:00

Life's a long road as it may be but the actual fact, it's short.

Enjoy what you have, love every second, and live up to your expectations, because life is short. And when life is so short, and so much of it is wasted, it passes so quickly. Treasure every moment, because every second is different and will never be the same. People won’t be in the same place, no one will be the same age, time will change. Because after all, you’re getting older every second, and everything is a new experience. New moments, new memories, new treasures, new values. So live and love life to the fullest. To live like we're dying.

I know you wouldn't want to see me this way either.

#35 Start of something new?

2010-01-04T10:01:00.001+08:00

The first day of the week always drags, your body left feeling like it is already bagged. Maybe if I had wings I could fly away, escape this reality. This relentless monotony. It's a boring day today with so many things yet to be done. I have to struggle for 5 more weeks till the end of my semester. :(

There are some things in life that are pretty much unpredictable. Take death for an example. I was devasted when I heard the tragic news that one of my friend who used to work with me passed away on 31st december 2009 in a car accident, and had his incineration just yesterday. He was a happy-go-lucky guy, who always cheers you up with no motives behind every actions. I could still remember vividly, that after my very first ipod was stolen, he was the one who got me another ipod, a better one, to make me feel happier. Sigh, and I just met him like last week. Is life really unfair? Or is it that his time is up?

In memory of Tanxueyao, 3 March 1988 - 31 december 2009.

It struck me hard on the tragedy of an unprepared life which was shared during service. I should embark on the series 'To live like we're dying' like what I've pledge to commit. Oh well, I don't want to live a life of regrets.

I know sometimes I can be a bit overbearing, a bit on the clingy side. I know I'm not always what you want me to be or do what you say. But still, you're here. The one who won't hide or be ashamed of having me. I know sometimes I talk too much. I know sometimes I yak about nothing important. But you're still talking to me, still listening to the nonsense I blabber and spurt. You still look at me like I'm everything and I'm enough for you. I've never felt this content. I don't like it when you stare for too long, but I still flutter and blush when you do. I know this is different, but because just by loving you, I feel so happy. Like you love me. This time it won't go wrong, this I promise you.

#34 Look what i've found!

2010-01-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

JIANZHI STALKER HOR.

#33 Happy new year!

2010-01-02T23:44:00.006+08:00

First and foremost, I would like to wish all of you a happy new year (even though i'm a day late). Hope everything will turn out right this year with no scew ups for all of you, and as well as making all your priority right. I wish you all the best for the year ahead, with many upcoming surprises.

Well, for me.. It actually started out quite well into the wee hours of the new year with Alicia, Anyi, Weijin and Edmund. Had fun playing, talking, watching, eating together. Reached home at 6am in the morning. After that wasn't so good, had to get up at 11 to go work (plus the thought of having to work with blah, makes it worse). On the way to work, I read some messages that was sent just before welcoming 2010. Replied some of the messages randomly, was happy that actually some of my previous close friends remembered me. But there was one particular message that I thought through quite thoroughly whether should i reply or not. Yes, I did. And it actually made my day happier. Was glad i did, we weren't quarrelling, that's the thing. (: Oh well, what else would be install for me?

Had fun with FOG today at ttm's place. Was awesome, had the best fellowship ever. Oh well, can't wait for more of these in the year ahead. Argh, suppose to meet cl now, but she's playing mj! :(

I thought the older a person may be, the more mature one would actually be. But coming to think of it, I strongly disagree that age plays apart in maturity. Isn't this so, Carissa Tan Kexin? I can't believe you're so mature. (: (Don't cha!)

lmx, i'm happy that you texted me.

#32 Pussycat dolls, don't cha.

2009-12-30T23:45:00.001+08:00

Met ml on the 28th, after so long of not meeting. Gave her a present, and catch up quite a bit. Was happy that after so long we're still feeling as close. Wha lao her iphone's camera suck (HEHE). Kept singing 'don't cha' by pussycat dolls to her. Haha, her girlf keep kpkb-ing. Not happy, come talk to me la, don't have to talk behind my back biatch. (If it weren't for meilin, I would have said nastier things, don't want to ruin my last day of the year also) (: Peishan and I did some great catch up too. Maybe going swimming with her tomorrow. If nothing crops up.

Yesterday had fun with yoke, sand and jess at party world after work. Whoohoo, but girlf was a little unhappy because i didn't met her. :( Sorry cl! I love you deep deepzxs okay! Came home at around 3am and slept like a pig untill 8am for work. :\ After work today met up with some great primary school friends for sakae. Haha, and missed our dessert, sickening we forgot all about it. :( Ahhhh, and I meet up with precious just now!

Someone asked me, isn't it ironic that if someone were to broadcast something which has been done to another, but they themselves did the same thing? I couldn't agree more.

Oh well, tomorrow marks the end of 2009. I wish all of you a happy new year. And I hope bygones will be bygones, and forgive those who trespass against us. Okay, bye 2009, and hello 2010!

#31 Yay shopping!

2009-12-24T02:52:00.000+08:00

Hohoho, it's Christmas eve! And i'm pretty egggggggggcited for the upcoming plans, can't wait and can't get to sleep. Even though I know that if i were to fall asleep now, time would past faster. Hehe. The thoughts of me spending my money tomorrow makes me happy! And I'm going to be more tanned. But one thing, it's going to be super crowded tomorrow. Argh.

Shop-till-i-drop, play, the streets, shopping again, time flying. Can't wait, bye.

庄竣丽, 开心两个月!
我很想你噢, 等不及明天看到你.

我们明天一定会很开心的. haha!
PS: My chinese sucks. I don't even think what i'm typing is correct la.
But nevermind, I don't care.

#30 Bigger, i want to see!

2009-12-23T01:12:00.001+08:00

Advertise some more, I want to see leh. Put bigger, put it big that you don't even know me. Mass message some more, for all I care. Time machine, throw it away if there's such a thing. I don't need it anymore. STFU, why don't you do the same? (: I don't know you.

Probably in the moment of anger, i don't know.

#29 Finale.

2009-12-22T00:38:00.000+08:00

I knew it'll come to an end, it's just a matter of time.

And you've made the decision, just like that, it's you who disregard.

I think i've got a new, new year resolution!

Okay, bye.

Can't wait for 23rd, bbq with fellow formal classmates and 24th, the shop-till-i-drop day with cl!

Sometimes you just wish you could turn back time, do you? I do.

#28 Stalk me more.

2009-12-19T02:35:00.001+08:00

Hi stalker. Guess what?

You're a prick

#27 Unforeseen.

2009-12-17T01:00:00.003+08:00

There are many a times we try to foresee the future with our imagination- something probably no one would expect to happen, but happened. I'm sure there's always such a time, don't tell me no. Like, who would have known that I would actually bump into ml, right before the clock strike 12mn telling me she's a year older? Like, who would have known that your love ones are no longer around when you needed them dearly? Like, who would have known families that were once so sweet and loving, but fall out in a snap? Tell me, who would have known.

Choices are there for you to choose. It's in your hands, to believe you can pull through, that you're strong. It's what makes you stronger. But well, even if no one foresees, God is in control of everything. I'll just lay everything to His feet.

Blogged hopped, and came across True Love. Is there really such a thing? It makes me ponder real hard. Probably..... Not. Oh well.........

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Going to do my UOB card tomorrow morning. Can't wait for the many discounts I'm going to have when i shop! And also the no-queue-when-withdrawing-money feeling! Shiok shiok! Me love! Anyway I want to make time for my friends. I suddenly felt so displease with myself having to work everyday during my holidays. What the heck. Even though when the pay comes in, the feeling is awesome; Friends are still the best gem after all. And yes, I miss all of you.

Goodnight darling.

#26 Stop. Record. Play.

2009-12-14T11:26:00.000+08:00

I'm back from camp! Woots. But I'm aching almost everywhere. :( Must be the tug-o-war. But well, I did enjoy myself, and I thank Sherilyn for that.

So bored in class, and ut later, makes the whole day worse. Plus there's something missing that I didn't bring. And and and, I've got a SL meeting later until 830pm! Wha piang, long day long day. Got to pull through.

Anyway, I can't wait for next week to come! Christmas & 2nd month, and soon it'll be the end of the year, and a new year will come to a start. I got to be organise, I need to get an organiser, there's so many things i need to remember, so many people that i need to meet, so many things to do, i need to prioritise! Can't wait.

Stop, Record, Play.
It's the best policy to know what's wrong.

#25 Insomnia

2009-12-10T01:55:00.004+08:00

Couldn't get to sleep, so end up watching this. It's quite a gay show, but it's super funny and interesting, I must say. Oh well, nothing much happened lately. Just felt bored having to be alone at home almost every night, studying for UTs, and working on weekends. I'm going off for a camp this friday untill sunday. AHHHHH. And i'm working everyday during my holidays, how nice................

Till then, bye. I love 庄竣丽 deep deep!
Ahhhhh. And I miss Jess and Peishan dearly.

#24 Lovey Dovey

2009-12-03T18:15:00.002+08:00

I love the way you look at me,

Your eyes so bright and brown.

I love the way you smile at me,

It brightens up the dawn.

I love the way you make me so happy,

And the ways you show you care.

I love the way you say, "I Love You,"

And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,

Always sending chills down my spine.

I love that you are with me,

And glad that you are mine.

Yippeeeee. Cl's buying me breakfast/lunch/dinner. Damn, I've not eaten anything since the start of the day. :( Yes, I'm super hungry now. But I'll probably take a nap before she reaches. Thanks baby! Sigh, supposedly swimming with kh. But I didn't want to, there's so much others whom I'm not close with. On a happier note, we did catch up and talk while we wait for the rest to come along, and me, home.

Anyway, yesterday's BRAG was superb. Even though my team didn't win, but it was funny, the way we played it. And it's been long since I've last touched Vball. Yes, I'm going back next year, when everything is better for me. 1st match with SHL was depressing at first, 8-25. 2nd, we did our best though, and got 22-25. Which i think they gave in. Anyway, it was that humour that brought my team closer. Ahhhh. I miss them.

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. And of course many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

#23 Oh well, hypocritical? Not.

2009-12-02T21:18:00.000+08:00

I guess you ought to know what the real reason is first,

before blurting out nonsence, Cheers (:
But it's over.

#22 Independent!

2009-11-29T16:27:00.000+08:00

There will be a time when you know how to categorize. When you know who are the people who will actually stand by you through those hard times no matter what the consequences are, and of course laugh with you when the sun shines. But no, i'm of no stand. I'm still figuring it out, but have firgured some out. Oh well, but some times I've got to learn how to be independent. Being too dependent on others definitely won't pick you up after a big fall you have when suddenly nobody is there for you at all. So, it's time now. And of course, I've got best friends who are always there for me. Thanks buds.

Mx, Even though I may not be there for you all the time,
but I promise, I'll be there for you whenever you need me.

#21 Reminiscing

2009-11-29T04:03:00.001+08:00

Looking at the time right now, I should be sleeping soundly, waiting for the alarm to ring and off to work. But, no, I'm here, instead. Blog hopping, looking back at pictures of the past, stoning, thinking. I can't believe I've missed out on so many people. People who used to be close to me, who are there when I needed them. Now, everyone is busy with their own world, work/studies/relationship, I don't know. All I know is that I would like to catch up with these people soon. I'm sorry. Argh, this is not emo.

Okay, bye.

#20 It matters, really.

2009-11-29T01:20:00.001+08:00

Why is it that I always think about us?
Tell me, what is going on right now.
I need some answers, really.

PROTECTED: I still treasure those times, Lim Mei Xing.

#19 Never thought so...

2009-11-28T01:56:00.001+08:00

I didn't know that you can actually think of it this way.

One replacing another? If you say so. I give up, you know really.

I thought when we met up the other day,

everything was going to be okay, but I guess I'm wrong.

Tried so many ways to salvage; text/initiate meetups/missing you/anything.

Yet all you said was, 'shock, don't know what to reply'.

Thanks, I guess our years of friendship wasn't strong at all.

This is bullshit, no really.

#18 Best yaking.

2009-11-26T01:29:00.000+08:00

After school today went off to the library with a few of my classmates. Supposedly, agreeing to what we said that we'll finish up our assignment given which is due on 26th, 5pm! Guess what? I kept playing plants VS zombie, lame but addictive! Ha, so end up we didn't even complete our assignment! Oh, I'll just rush through tomorrow, or not. See how my mood goes.

Mos with Zann, Danny and Karthik, waited for them to finish eating. Missed out on cl! Chatted with them until the time I'm supposed to meet sweetie passed! I'm super sorry. :( Train-ed to amk with Kar. Met dearest and off to get her shoes. Ate at Anderson's ice-cream, was cl's first time. She said it was awesome, like duhh.

Met someone special, cind and j. I guess we did catch up pretty well, didn't we? (: But the waiting time for you suck big time la. Oops. Hehe. Mx, you don't have to feel that I'm neglecting you alright. Because, i didn't. Meet up soon, again? I'm waiting.

Had the best night ever. The feeling of home was dearly missed. Tonight, I've felt it. Only slightly different. I guess, it's better off this way, brother, mother, daughter, right Eric Lian? Cyril says he'll make me his first pillion when he get his license! We even hooked pinkies! Can't wait. Oh, and my brother thought I was really going off for 10 months of service learning but it's just 10 days to Chiang Rai! And his expression was priceless. Awww. Anyway the 3 of us are planning on a vacation next year! Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta save the money first. Hopefully things get better for us.

Ahh. Dearest is sleeping.

I want to share my joy with her now.

#17 It's been a long weekend.

2009-11-25T08:43:00.001+08:00

Last Saturday had the best night ever after work with barbecue at Pasir Ris Park pit 63. Wha lao, they sure know how to choose a pit eh. Super far from the toilet! The toilet is somewhere near pit 46 or something like that. Have to take a 15-20 minutes walk just to go to the loo. Though it was drizzling at first, we were still having fun, trying to save the food, still carry on with barbecue. Ate, drank, five-ten-ed, yaked, walked, saved a child, watched the sun rise untill it was about 7 plus in the morning, cabbed home with cl. Came home, slept for 3 pathetic hours, and off to work. Home on Sunday night at 11.

Skipped school on monday, slept at 5am on the previous night just to rush up something for sweets. (: But headed down to school for a maths talk to get my points, and off to bake. It was super sweet, i hope you wouldn't have diabetic. Hehe.

Celebrated our first month by nua-ing on the bed together untill around 1 plus initially. Used destop, ate the cake and went nua-ing as we read each other's present for each other. Untill it was time for sakae. (: Enjoyed myself even though the day was a simple one. Just the thought of spending it with you, fills my empty cup with joy.

YAY YAY YAY! (: It'll continue, i'm sure of it.

#16 Cause I had a bad day.

2009-11-18T18:31:00.000+08:00

Tsk. What a day, I should say. Scream it out loud, or put it inside. Wha lao. I’m down in the dumps; I’m stuck in a rut; I’m really feeling so low. I must have got out the wrong side of bed, all dressed up and nowhere to go. Why? Pangseh.

I’ve got in a hump, I’m just an old grump, there’s a black cloud above me, raining cats and dogs, only my mother could love me, and I think I must have PMS. I should turn my frown, upside down; If I smile it might never happen. A face like a slapped ass, I could be pushing up grass, all the time sucking on a lemon.

Oh! Hold on a minute, I just spend money on nail polish, Jess messaged me a sweet message to tell me she misses me out of the blue, maybe I will cheer up now!

#15 RED DATES. :(

2009-11-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

Wha kao piang. Cramps suck big time. Hopefully it ends fast. Didn't want to come school today, if it weren't for 3 of my classmates' birthday, i doubt i'll be here. And oh how great it is, one of my team mates went partial. Now it's just the 4 of us, with 2 not even understanding anything. Oh how great it is today. Worse, Shania's mum not picking up her phone! I don't know if there is class for her daughter in the evening. What a day.

Watched with sweets last night. The show was fantastic, seriously man. Super gan chiong type of show, made me squeeze cl's hand so tight, can you imagine? Cab-ed home @ 1.12am, i think. Dropped by at Oakley's new boutique at Dhoby, and wow, the concept is not bad, not bad at all, i guess. Ha, but my main motive was to look for Jess.

Anyway, Desaru was fun with mum. Pictures are up at her fb acc. Cool right? You must know who's her daughter. Tata, hungry.

#14 Yay weekends.

2009-11-13T21:30:00.000+08:00

Had fun with a few of my classmates today at pastamania, had load of laughter talking about random stuff. Hoorays to weekends. Off to desaru tomorrow at 5am, back on sunday early morning. Bye. I'll miss Chuen Chun Li for sure.

#13 Kiss me through the phone.

2009-11-12T10:11:00.002+08:00

I shouldn't be blogging at this point of time. Not untill my last ut ends, which is tomorrow. But who cares now, when i'm super bored. I'm really depriving myself of sleep manzxs. Wha lao eh, I want to get my 12 hours of sleep again. I don't care, but the thing is, I don't have the time to.

Talked on the phone with this bitch last night, had a hell load of laughter with some issues that are inconceivable; Wha lao and the thought of it makes me sick la. Slept at 2.16am, woke up at 7.30am. Sigh, if it weren't for my classmates that I had to compile the maths notes by today to pass it to them, I doubt I'm here today. Obligations = no motivation to stay awake in class. To make it worse, i'm super hungry. Kns day. Can't wait for tomorrow night, cl will be coming over for a movie marathon. And sat, off to Desaru with mummy, back on Sunday early morning, I think. After that, sarah's 21st! I miss you guys.

Like the stars in the sky, I am calling to You. From the heavens above, I am looking for You. In the depths of my soul, I will live and breathe for You. Sadness dwells inside You; You have nothing to fear, for I am next to You. I can feel Your sadness; Let me be sad for You, so You will feel love once again. Worry not about life, let me worry for You. You should always love life, for it is a part of You. I'll be there when You fall, to catch You and say I love You.

xoxo, lian-c ♥

#12 Updates

2009-11-09T01:03:00.001+08:00

Friday;

After school met up with Shan and Jess. Went over to TanjongPagar to have steamboat with Vina, Sand and Cl. Had lots of fun. Cab-ed down to bottletree at Khatib. Never did we know the pond there for prawning was freaking small, with lots of people to start with. We were indecisive, but nevertheless, we carry on as planned; prawning.

Saturday&Sunday;

Work, work, work, work.
Study, study, study study.

Oh and one thing super comical happened. This silly bird thought she had misplaced her Simcard. Looked for it everywhere, couldn't find it. Guess what? She found it in her wallet. But that's when she had already deactivate it. How toot can she be huh? Silly. ♥

A hug makes the world go round for me. Do you feel the same?

#11 What if...

2009-11-05T13:06:00.000+08:00

My mind is filled, filled with thoughts. Thoughts that are frightening. Thoughts that I shouldn't in the first place be thinking. I really don't know what to do. I'm petrified. Or could it be that I'm wrong? But... My assumptions are always right. I'm a coward, yes I am.

I don't understand me, and i know me too well. I'm afraid to face the truth. Who will then be there for me in times like that? Physically, mentally? Which one. Tell me. Being emo isn't my forte, is not what I want. But today, I just felt so overwhelmed by my thoughts that whenever I look myself in the mirror, I'll picture an image...

Can you feel my heart trembling, hear it beating louder than before?

Can you feel my heart trembling? It's too fragile to play games.

#10 Studying?

2009-11-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

3rd November marks the start of my tests. :( And still, I'm not hitting those resources. I should start now (isn't it too late?). But studying isn't something I would do, I need some motivations, damn.

I guess I would study now till the wee hours(maybe). My classmates are all quite competitive, and it freaks me out compared to my previous semester's class. So I really need to hit on those resources. First, I would need toothpicks to keep my eyelids open pleaseeee.

Ok, I really need to start now, bye.

You're all I want,

You're all I ever needed,

You're all I want,

Help me know You are near.

xoxo, lian-c.

#9 Sleeping Queen.

2009-10-31T20:59:00.000+08:00

Cl crashed over at my crib. Wanted to head down to Sentosa at 9am! But we were too lazy. And never did we know, we slept for 13 hours! Woke up at 4plus in the evening, slacked at my place, and off to have dinner with mum and her.

@Jess&ps; Lame la you guys. Catch up maaaaaaa. See you guys soon!

Home alone @ 8.16pm.

Oh man, you're grounded, i'm going to miss you a whole lot.

I love you, b.

xoxo, lian-c.

#8 Love is in the air.

2009-10-29T23:57:00.005+08:00

Yesterday's Astons was awesome. Saw bz on the way there, and poof, he came with us. Wha lao, supposedly it'll be just J and me hanging out catching up. Ha, but we did enjoyed his company though. It's a good thing he came along, he was our photographer, so credits to him. Thanks bz. Next time, please fulfill 'just the two of us, j'. Heh.

Pictures;

Feasting;

Splash Park, had fun making ourselves wet while cam-whoring;

Met up with cl & ps afterwards;

Was late for school by 2-3 minutes! Piang *smacks head hard*, facilitator didn't gave a chance. Damn. If i knew, I wouldn't have spend my money on cab fare again!! Pissed, what a day to start with. Sigh, but after a while, things start to get better. Watched True Blood, the whole way through, thanks to val for recommending it. It is super addictive.

Met up with ali, yang, zw, jh and syaz after school. Wanted to head down to Bugis, but we were all rushing up our RJs, then headed to W1's food court to have dinner, and were all to tired to go elsewhere. -.- After that syaz went to look for somebody, the rest went back home, ali and i went to lepak. Went to causeway to meet cl, sand and ps for a movie.

After the movie, we walked over to somewhere near ps's, slacked for awhile while she feast on her sushi. Took a bus back, sand went off, sat down and have a good chat with sweet, and off home at 11.32pm. Took some pictures!

You've always made me smile, b. Ily-

@Jess; 热闹 la! My tag board leh, duhhhhh. Heh.
@Cl; Yay, i'm loved. Love you back b.
@Wika; Hehe, don't worry.. Alright, we'll meet up soon okay! I think we've got lots to catch up, right? (:

#7 Protected / Astons!

2009-10-29T05:24:00.001+08:00

Can't believe I'm actually inspired by songs to run. Yay me, I've made it at least 2 rounds of running non-stop after that basketball with cl and ps. Perspire like mad woman, yay! It's an achievement okay, it's been long since I've last ran, and the last time i ran was with cl, which i walked for 1.5 rounds, and ran 1.5 rounds (stop/run/stop/run again). Haha. Gotta gotta gotta gotta... Shed some fats off. :( I need to get so many things done- Get some real sleep, study for Uts, work my ass off, run, swim, gym, drink milkshake, watch season #3 of GG, watch True Blood, etc. There's so many things I want to do, but I don't have the time. :( I beggggggggg for more time please.

Can't wait for Friday, it'll be my 8th lesson with Shania, and I'll get my very first tuition fees. (: And on 7th I'll get CEDS's. I want to save, save, saveeeee, save for overseas/family/myself. No cabs shall I hire/hail the next time (i hope). The last thing I'll be getting for myself, until every thing's stable will be the Timberland Jacket that I've longed for.

Okay, anyway I'm going to Sembawang SC later, whoohooo! To have Astons with J, which we have planned for quite some time ago. Finally the both of us have the time together, just the two of us, to do some catching up and have dinner (sounds wrong though. HAHA). There's someone I want to meet as well, maybe to catch up too, W.

There's something so vulnerable on the outside, but the inside is practically so dekcuf. You know, it's something unexplainable, because if you do, no one actually believes.

(You'll need to do some reflections.)

#6 Prawning

2009-10-28T04:00:00.000+08:00

Yay, went prawning with cl, yoke, sand. Had the best/first prawning of my life yesterday. The pictures are with yoke and sand i think. I was everyone's entertainment. -.- My reactions when i caught a prawn was like 'ahhhh yoke ling faster faster help', super funny. Then everyone will stare at me, super embarrassing, but who cares. Haha. Enjoyed myself, cabbed home @ 11 plus. thanks jo for helping me out with RJ.

Shan and I didn't go swimming yesterday. :( But i think we're meeting up later to run or something after giving tuition to my primary 3 student. Lets see how later. Woots; Going to meet lovey to play basketball later, how great is it to show my lousy skills. Anyway, everything is not planned yet. -.-

All i want you to know, is that i've loved you before. Now it's a different thing, since you've moved on, so have I. Thanks for the memories. - JJ

Too bad, you've lost the battle.

#5 24th.

2009-10-27T01:51:00.000+08:00

Wha lao eh. The weekends are over, super fast with work now. :( Why can't it be the opposite whereby school/work is on weekends, and current weekends is on weekdays! Damn, i want longer weekends pleaseeeeeeee. I'm tired, i want to get many many hours of sleep. Had tanned, pain. :(

Anyway, good luck Wika for your papers later! Jiayou, gambateh. I think........ We should meet up soon, after your exams alright! And Jess, you too, all the best for tomorrow's paper. Yay, breakfast tomorrow. (:

Met up with kh and jr yesterday, had a great laugh about some things, had our catch up and gossips as usual. It's been long since i last saw them. Good luck for your Os alright!

Going swimming with shannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn later after school, whosh/splash/ahhhh!

@chunliiiii; Baby you're all that i want. Thanks for the 26 hours that i'm with you, i've really enjoyed myself throughout. I love you la, 24th.

xoxo, lian-c.

#4 Weekends weekends weeeeeeeeekends!!

2009-10-24T14:58:00.000+08:00

Last night was pretty wonderful. Woke up late, skipped school, cl bought breakfast for me. But it was lunch by the time i woke up already. Slacked at home, watched videos with cl. Met sand at around 6 plus to causeway. They had KFC for dinner, and met the rest (yoke, ps, jess, mx, yv, mc) at pasta. Wanted to go K, but it wasn't as ideal as planned, so we went to accompany mx to triple 8 to take her prescriptions for baby. But in the end we went to party world after mx, yv, mc and jess left. Party world-ed about 4 hours, singing our lungs out. It's been awhile since I've spoken so much mandarin! Walked home @ 2.46am.

*Smacks hard on forehead* 'piang ehhh I'm going to be late for school!' True enough, after all the anxiety i had last night, i couldn't wake up in the morning for school. Cab to school on a Friday morning. I think the weekend mood has already struck me. But thank God is Friday already! Had fun in class today with chemistry anyway. Cab to give tuition at yishun, met up with wan'ee and ailin for a little while right before i met up with cl. Home sweet home, 11 something.

Damn, i gotta stop taking cab every single time. D: Somebody scold me for wasting money please. I can't believe i've spend $400plus in 13 days (not totally on cab of course). Sigh, i want to save money leh.

Yay, i'm pretty excited that the weekends are here, but sadly, i'm working tomorrow. The good thing is, i'm going to get my timberland jacket! And after work, meeting cl. Sunday, I want to relax my mind and go to the beach and become chao ta please.

I want to know what it feels like to be loved.

#3 What's next?

2009-10-22T07:21:00.000+08:00

Today's biology rocks to the max. Never regret a single bit of coming to school, and not skipping school to go out and rot. My team had fun doing models of DNA, and models of how it is being compact into our chromosomes without having to compromise its functions. And not forgetting pasting and drawing on the mah-jong paper as well. Here's a picture of it.

School has ended, like finally. Met mc just now during my break. We were disscussing about coming to school in RP. And mc's advantage is super sickening.

She told me, 'eh RP 时间过很快hor'
Me, 'Ah norh, then?'
She, '这样我可以快一点看到 cheryl'

I was laughing my ass off, and off she went to the kopitiam. -.-

Anyway, went swimming yesterday with shan. Sneaked into woodsvale to use the facilities. Hehe. The scenario in the suana was super hilarious. After that, went opposite to have dinner, with mc and yoke. Couldn't finish my sambal fried rice. Damn, i feel fat leh, want to shed off some fats. But of course not to the stage that I'll gorge out everything i eat la, waste of money.

I'm super tired, should i still meet Adrian to study? Lol.

I miss chun li leh.

xoxo, lian-c.

#2 Long & Tired.

2009-10-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

Super tired, sick and happy all at the same time. Today's presentation went quite okay, but got a little disappointment with someone after what he/she has said, make it feel like it was her work, and not a team's work. I was like wth already. I mean, if i wasn't unwell, i would have made my stand for the team. He/She is quite a team mate, i must say, but when it comes to him/her presenting, it's the other way round. Reminded me of someone i knew from previous semester. Fake? I don't know.

After school, met Peishan. Accompanied her to get her cheque, and off to my workplace to get my slippers. JonG cheated my feelings, said he would get it for me. Tmd, in the end he didn't pick up my call, forget it. Met sweetie on the way, had xingwang at ION with her and shan. RJ-ed at starbucks with yoke, jess, sand, chun, shan. Had a missed with mx. :( I don't know what will happen tomorrow, and it tingles me at the thought of it. I hope she knows what she's doing.

Home sweet home @ 11.30pm. Going to have a goodnight's rest now, the pain's killing me. Damn. :(

Honeystarrrrrr@ Just so you know, we do care. And I want you to know that I'll always be here. I love you babe. 你要开心，要be strong一点，懂吗? Sorry la, i don't know what's 'be strong' in chinese. Hehe.

#1 Starting off.

2009-10-20T03:32:00.000+08:00

Hello earthlings. It's been long since I've last blogged (looking back at my old blog), it's been 2 months plus (since August 11). I want to start anew, everything, changes that have been made cannot be changed anymore. So, I've moved on, and I'm going to leave it all behind. Thus, jumping over from wordpress.

The previous month, I've been working my ass off, with no time for myself at all, drinking and partying for nights. I'm through, i need rest. I can't be always getting drunk just to pour out my emotions, no. Thankfully, I've got a wonderful friend, so wonderful that every time just the moment i see her, i would pour it all out, after which will i then feel better. I think she's the only friend I could talk things out with, without quarrelling. True friends, right J? Thanks for always being there for me even though sometimes, things may have been corrupted la. But still.. You are there. No, i'm not going to be bothered about whatever is happening already. Like I've said, I'm through.

She's not the only one there for me of course. My life is filled with surprises actually. But anyway, I'm glad Honeystarr came back into my life after some time. (: And of course, sand, yoke, chun.

Bye, I'm actually in class. Too boring already.

xoxo, lian-c